Saturday, December 02, 2006

Story: Food For Thought

Once upon a time, a society made a religion of the Hamburger. Fast food restaurants became places of worship. Many people had heart attacks, strokes, more had stomach cancer or could not climb stairs without gasping. But they saw themselves as martyrs and would not give up their religion.

Political candidates ran on a pure beef platform, which the public ate up. Everyone prayed to The Hamburger to make their life better. Many found it profitable. Hamburgers became an enormous business. After work people drove to the nearest drive-through for a prayer dinner with onion rings.

The demand for burgers was so great it became increasingly difficult to obtain fresh meat. Vegetarians were considered heretics—one by one they began to disappear. Then, when they were gone, homeless people began to vanish. The burgers were chewier but those who kept eating did not mind. The new sources of meat were publicly named Human Resources, and soon every city developed its own Human Resources Department. Eating the homeless was supported by government, business and the church leaders because, as any fool could see, poverty was finally being eaten away.

The fools began to disappear next.

Victor Schwartzman


Anonymous said...

I love your Blog Victor. Good luck with reducing your stress and blood pressure. Your writing is very creative. I am sure your family and friends want you around for 60? more years keep up the good work.

Victor Schwartzman said...

Why, thank you, Anonymous!
Try checking out The Winnipeg Weakly Herald also (ah, the shameless self promotion!)