Story: Fast Food Heaven

One Summer afternoon, as Frank placed his old newspapers in the blue recycling bin in his back yard, he yet again had the disquieting experience of watching his little Shitzhu perform her own version of recycling, creating waste from one end and then gobbling it back up with the other. It certainly was part of the cycle of life, although not to everyone’s taste.

Taking a cue from how fast food chickens are raised, Frank purchased a large barn with a lot of small cages, brought in a truckload of small dogs, and then packaged and marketed their produce as the ultimate fast food:

Protein, minerals, but no transfats

Edible package, so it doesn’t have to be opened and you don’t have to look at it

Available in chunky or smooth

Predigested

Not having to open the package before eating was clever, but Frank showed his genius with pre-digested, which turned out to be the biggest selling point for fast food fans. Government regulation was not a problem—politicians and Health Department officials were among his hungriest customers.