Story: Understanding Sex

There was so much he did not understand about sex.

Why did it have to be so wet? Whether on the bed, couch or floor, there was always a wet spot; sometimes, a puddle. He tried tissues, towels, dehumidifiers. Nothing worked. And it was only worse with someone else.

He did not understand what attracted him to a woman or what attracted women to him. He did not understand why breasts attracted anyone other than hungry babies. And he did not get buttocks at all. He did not understand all the movement, pushing and sweat.

Giving the woman some attention, or something, seemed necessary before having sex, but after the first time, why do it all over again?

Unfortunately, all his questions remained unanswered as he never had sex with anyone a second time, except for himself.

Victor Schwartzman
victors@mts.net

Hypertension 28: Search Engine Key Words

Today, home in bed with the flu, and it being -34 outside--hey! it's dropped down from -35 C or is that risen up to -34C?...and...at these temperatures...who cares?--I have time on my hands.

This blog is tracked by a free counter from Extreme DM (why not give them a plug, the counter is free). This morning, I checked "referral" sources through the tracker, to discover what turns Google searches onto this blog. Knowing what generates a Google "hit" is important, because a reader finds your blog/web site through "key word" searches.

So, for example, the tracker turned up one reader who'd typed in "spitting up blood" and ended up here (because of a description of spitting up blood when brushing my teeth). Interestingly, the person was in China, judging from the Chinese characters on the top of the page. In this person's search, a number of pages which mentioned "spitting up blood" also popped up. Some of them were about other diseases, some were about, well, naughty things. Google does not discriminate!

This got me to thinking, which can often be dangerous.

I do want people reading this blog, both to inflate my ego and to spread information about Hypertension (guess which is more important to me). And certain selected key words will cause this blog to come up on Google. So the more "key words" that I have on this blog which will generate Google "hits", the better!

Therefore, I have now written this post, for the sole purpose of containing a list of key words which are guaranteed to generate a "hit".

Some words belong here. Some are just here to generate a hit.

Also: I've noticed that some illiterates (like me) on occasion spell Hypertension "Hypertenson", generating further hits. Hey, anyone can have hy blud pressyur. Is spelling properlee a good idea, then? Which is witch? While it may be an oxymoron to appeal to readers who can not read (okay, can not spell, it is not the right definition of oxymoron, just ironically call me Alanis), but the need for fifteen minutes of fame is too intoxicating to ignore.

So here's the list:

Hypertension
Hypertenson
Hypertensdaughter
Blood
Blood Pressure
High Blood Pressure
Stoned Blood Pressure
Medicine
Meds a sin
Prescription Medication
Over The Counter Medication
Jump Over The Counter To Get The Medication
Counter The Medication To Make Sure You Goter All The Pills
Sick
Sex
Sick sex
Stress
Breasts
Stressed Breasts
Tension
Breasts
Tense Breasts
Anxiety
Breasts
Anxious Breasts
Worry
Ass
President George W. Bush
Worried Head In Ass (we're back to President George W. Bush)