Poem: Regrets

I had been feeling regrets. My mom has been in the hospital for over a month. She's 91 and had a mild heart attack, and still is not stable. She's in the hospital for another two months at least. I had been visiting every evening, after work, and on the weekends. It was getting exhausting, and I was thinking of seeing her every other day, or a few times a week--and then feeling guilty.

So I decided to write something about regrets. It started out one way, but then the poem and characters took over, what can I tell you? I've been working on this one the last couple of days--any feedback, as always, is appreciated!

Regrets

Johnny Canuck never tried to do much
so past mistakes never haunted him
his life was sitting in a depot
watching trains pull in and out
people getting on, people getting off
Johnny was a life voyeur
watching others ride

Johnny had no regrets
Johnny was an idiot
only fools have no regrets
only fools have too many

Janey Canuck had only regrets
she sought every night temptation
then suffered every morning
over imagined bad deeds
her past was her future
the only present she got
ulcers and guilt

Our lives are a balancing act
mistakes haunting us
the past trapping us
in the dream of 'what if'

Johnny and Janey met at the train station
he made room on the bench
no one else had sat there before
but when they were to make love
he only wanted to watch
Janey loved it, for the first time
she had no regrets

So of course they were married
and lived together but
apart from themselves
love means compromise

Victor Schwartzman
victors@mts.net